I'd forgotten that night when he threw his cell phone across the room and broke it in anger, and I didn't even know why he was mad at me. He used to scare me, I didn't even know who he was at the end of it all.
I hate this relationship. I've hated it for awhile. It's painful to even show him affection, I'm not even sure I like him as a person anymore... I was really hoping things would work out this summer, like they used to... It seems to me that relationships are only good when they are new and foreign, so what is the point?
And I can't believe that I ever hated myself so much. I couldn't even confess to my journal any redeeming qualities I thought I might have.
I've grown up and as a person so much since then, it's mind blowing to think about. I am definitely not the same person now that I was and I am so thankful that I have my journals to show me this.
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